Top Ten Characters I’d Go on Vacation With

Today’s TTT is characters we’d go on vacation with. But first, some teases!

And now, in a never-before-attempted bit of meta-metaphysical wizardry, the real Neil Patrick Harris will reappear to bedazzle you with a magic trick. And by “you,” we mean you, you. And by “we,” we mean me, Neil Patrick Harris.

Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“And you think exactly the same,” he said firmly, and stared out his elder, eye to eye. “When I want to hear my echo,” said Brother Cadfael, “I will at least speak first.”

“Your prior will be wise,” said Urien, taking his leave, “to take a lesson from yonder young fellow. Leading and coaxing pays better than driving in these parts.

A Morbid Taste for Bones, Ellis Peters

So, characters I’d go on vacation with..

(1) Hermione Granger. No need to do any planning, because she’ll know everything anyway. Train timetables? When will the sun set? When the M5 is busiest? All covered. She can also punch bullies in the face — not to mention magicking us out of any serious problems.

(2) Isaac Asimov. “Waitaminute,” say you, “Asimov is a person, not a character!” That’s where you’re wrong. Asimov made himself a character in one of his novels, Murder at the ABA. So, I can cheat a skosh and have Asimov’s good humor and inexhaustible skill at conversation. Would be interesting to have a trivia contest between him and Hermione.

(3) Uhtred of Bebbanberg. This Saxon warlord raised by Vikings can not only defend our traveling party from any assailants, but if we grow bored he can regale us with battle-stories.

(4) La’an Noonien Singh. I think she was in Star Trek SNW: The High Country, so I can count her here. I’d bring La’an for her security mindset and singing. Also, she’s played by Christina Chong.

(5) and (6) Jeeves and Wooster. Obviously. Comic relief from Wooster, cocktails from Jeeves. We also get singing and piano playing with HughLaurie-Wooster.

(7) and (8) Tom Sawyer and Anne of Green Gables. Is it really a proper vacation if there aren’t adorable children creating chaos? Tom could build a boat, too.

(9) and (10) The Old Man and the Boy, from Robert Ruark’s accounts of his and his grandfather’s adventures in the 1920s. The Old Man was hilarious, and Tom and boy-Robert would get along splendidly, I think.

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Longbow

It is a fit time for heroes and legends to arise.  This is the story of one such.

From the treeline, young Roland Inness watches in mute horror as his father is murdered by the local lord’s son, who believe him to be in possession of a longbow that poached a deer. Roland himself wields that bow, and he uses it to strike back against these royal bullies, making himself an outlaw in the process. Fleeing north, pursued by a mercenary, he encounters an opportunity for shelter and service, one that will bring him to London to observe the coronation of King Richard — but there, too, he’ll find the past waiting for him. Longbow is my second book by Wayne Grant, and a rollicking fun bit of medieval adventure it is, complete with a friar named Tuck. Roland is an instantly sympathetic character — a poor orphan whose only crime was trying to eat, laden with guilt over his father’s dead and driven on by a thirst for revenge. The supporting characters are a fine crew, too: a warrior-monk, a cheeky Irish squire who becomes Roland’s friend, a young lady with mischievous wit, and nobles great and gross. As with No King, No Country, there’s a solid current of activity here that’s nicely balanced — not too frantic, but never slow, and varied. The ending is especially fun, culminating with an archery contest in which a certain Robin of Loxley is present, and Grant works in a fair bit of historical detail — though not as much as Cornwell or Ben Kane might. Given the age of the protagonist, and the lack of overly graphic violence or language, this might be intended for teen audiences, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. From the descriptions of other books in the series, it looks like Roland’s vengeance will continue to dog him.

At this distance, there could be no doubt as to the identity of the leader. Roland paused for a moment. This was no roebuck he was stalking—it was a man. The church said that vengeance was the provenance of God. “This is not church,” he muttered to himself. The boy drew the longbow smoothly, sighted and released in a fluid motion.

“My lady,” said Roland gravely, “our little man seems to have transformed himself into a…hedgehog.” The girl gave him a withering look.
“It’s well known the wee folk have magical powers,” added Declan sincerely.

“Lad, I’ve been a soldier longer than you’ve been alive and I’ve never seen shooting like that.” The King spoke with genuine admiration in his voice. “Where’d you learn?” “From my father, your grace,” Roland replied, through his nervousness.
“Aye, I learned a thing or two from my own sire!” the King said. Considering the civil war he had recently fought with his late father, no one laughed at his joke.

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A Morbid Taste for Bones

A brother at the monastery lies abed ranting and raving: the man who volunteered to watch him through the night falls asleep and wakes with a vision, one of a blessed saint who promising healing to the afflicted brother if her bones, neglected in their current grave, are properly enshrined at the monastery. Following the bishop’s approval, six monks journey to Wales to disinter the sainted young lady and bring her to the monastery. The locals are horrified at the notion of outlanders disturbing their saint’s rest and carting her away to Saxon territory, and then their most outspoken man develops an acute case of arrow-in-chest. Although a local is declared guilty by virtue of it being his arrow that was used, Brother Cadfael has dark suspicions that one of his brethren — the man whose idea this quest was anyway — may be behind it. It’s time for for Monk, medieval style!

It’s safe to say that this is unique among all of the medieval fiction I’ve read, given that all else is combat fiction: there’s very little shooty-stabby business here. A little, admittedly, since there is a murder involved, but it’s mostly character-riven drama that draws on medieval religion and politics. The book is not short on memorable characters, the best being Cadfael — a man who fought in the Crusades but who is now pursuing a life of prayerful contemplation at Shrewsbury Abbey, whose vast store of life experience serves him well in this little adventure. A Welshman by birth, Cadfael’s happy to be returning home for a little bit, and his affection for his people combined with his doubt about the prior’s motives mean he’s secretly on the side of the community whose graveyard is here to be prayerfully plundered. This also adds to his involvement in figuring out who really killed the man who so vocally objects to the monk’s desire: more than not having a dog in the fight, he has both dogs in the fight, and he doesn’t want further harm to befall the village, nor shame his Abbey. His wariness, affection for both sides, and ability to translate the others’ needs helps him gain the trust of the murdered man’s daughter, and together they work to expose the real killer. The writing is wonderful, and I definitely see continuing in this series.

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Top Ten Screenshots that Leave Ya Wonderin’

Today’s TTT is a freebie, so I’m going to go completely off topic with game screenshots that….well, leave a player asking questions. These are all my personal screenshots, from 2004 to now. (…I’m a data hoarder…) But first, a tease!

My problem with the disregard of the past that we typically manifest today is that we are highly selective in what elements of a historical person’s character we are willing to take seriously. We tend to consider only those elements that reflect the dominant concerns of our moment, which are not the only concerns that are relevant to human judgment. In looking at figures from the past, we behave, as Vance and Alexander suggest, rather like admissions officers at elite colleges and universities: We look for ways to send them to the reject pile. [….] But if Moby-Dick simply reaffirms our current state of opinion, why bother to read it at all?

Breaking Bread with the Dead, Alan Jacobs

GTA Vice City.
…..I don’t think helicopters work like that…..
(GTA San Andreas)
We have a werewolf, a floating robot drone, and a portal into the supernatural realm. Perfectly normal. (The Sims 4)
“Drunk? DRUNK? No, officer, I was not drunk, your road has POT HOLES. And INFERIOR GUARD RAILS. I’m the VICTIM here!” (GTA V)
NOPE NOPE NOPE
(Red Dead Redemption II)
This is obviously in an alternate universe (Game Dev Tycoon)
Tech Support: Player Unknown. I was operating multiple tickets at the same time.
I was just fishing. Then there were bounty hunters.
I. HAD. A PLANNUHHHHH!!!!!!!

(Dutch ran into a wagon while pontificating.I got the aftermath.)
Strangeville’s “possessed” behavior meets a mod’s “zombie” behavior. Hilarity and death ensue.
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Sunspotting

I’ve never experienced a solar eclipse before (the one from a few years back was barley noticable in my neck of the woods), but I naively thought that 85% coverage would translate to something approaching dusk. Turns out the noonday sun is so strong that even reduced to a sliver of itself, it still looked like afternoon — at least, before the cloudcover moved in. There was a significant drop in temperature and some atypical birdsong, but nothing out of the way. Had I been buried under a rock somewhere and not known about the eclipse, I wouldn’t have regarded it as anything more than a heavy cloud system moving in. As it was, watching the shadow of the moon (through the glasses) grow over the “great lord of years and days“, was captivatingly eerie.

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No King, No Country

When both sides in a civil war count you as enemy, it’s time to move on.

Will Inness fought for Parliament and Cromwell, but now he’s a wanted man. His crime was speaking up for his men, who were owed back pay, and pleading that they be given some land in the country for which they had fought. Cromwell’s diktat is that he arrested and executed as a mutineer, but fortunately a man whose life Will saved during the war has given him a heads up and allowed him an opportunity to escape. So, — to America, where there are a few isolated settlements in Mary Land and Jamestown, where the long arm of the law strains to reach and where the wilderness offers room to vanish. Wayne Grant offers a unique story set in an area of Anglo-American history that is largely ignored by most writers, and pulls it off to good effect.

I checked this out on Kindle Unlimited over a year ago thinking it was a story of the English Civil War: That’s not altogether wrong, but it’s not exactly accurate, either. No King is indeed set during the struggle between Cavaliers and Roundheads, between supporters of the King versus those of Parliament, but after a battle and chase in the early part of the book, we’re looking more at an early colonial thriller with the War as its backdrop. We begin on land, with war and then a manhunt, then move to the high seas where a ship dodges hurricanes and privateers as it ferries passengers to the New World while engaging in a bit of triangle trade at the same time. Will is accompanied by one of his forer men, August Dawes, as well as an African named Jubo who makes his home with the Cherokee nation. Robert Harris used this early-colonial setting for his Acts of Oblivion, which was related but different: there, an agent of the restored monarchy hunted two men who were responsible for the murder of Charles I. Here, two men who both the Royalists and Parliamentarians want to kill are the game, hunted through the dark woods of America. Both the vast strangeness of the landscape, and the presence of hostile tribes like the Seneca, add to the suspense.

No King, No Country was a surprise, but a welcome one. I’m going to try its sequel, The Long Rifles, for cert.

Highlights:

“Ideas have weight, Will.  Had Charles not believed in the divine right of kings, he might still sit on the throne today.  You and the others on this list harbor an idea that frightens Cromwell and Fairfax and the leaders of Parliament.  Men have been put to death for much less.”

“This isn’t your trouble, Gus.”
“The hell it isn’t.  You always made my trouble your trouble, Will.  Ever since we were boys.  Do you think I’d not do the same?”

“Breeding is for cattle, not men, Harry.  I learned long ago that what separates a commoner from a gentlemen is not blood.  It’s money.” For a moment Grey bristled, but then he shook his head and gave Will a rueful smile.
“I dare say you may have something there. A gentlemen’s blood looks much the same as a foot soldier’s when they’re both lying dead on the battlefield.”

“Chickahominy?”
“It’s another stream that feeds into the James a few miles upriver from Jamestown.  It’s a Powhatan name.  Lots of them in Virginia.  Names that is.  Not so many Powhatans anymore.”

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Sons of the Waves

Come cheer up, my lads!
’tis to glory we steer,
To add something more to this wonderful year;
To honour we call you, as free men, not slaves,
For who are so free as the sons of the waves?

Heave your ship to, boys, deep soundings to take! Sons of the Waves is a celebration not of the gilded brass, not of a handsome oak-forest-falling ships, but of the ordinary — and able — British seaman in the Age of Sail. We visit here the 18th century, when Britain fully established itself as a naval, then world power — sending out ships to conduct science on the high seas, steadily knit the continents together with globalized trade, frustrate the designs of Napoleon, and turn Australia into the world’s largest penal colony. Taylor draws on memoirs, letters, and ship’s logs to deliver a sense of the challenges, deprivations, and pleasures these men experienced, and pays special attention to the conditions which prompted large mutinies like those at Spithead and Nore. Thoroughly readable, it offers a fulsome look at another area of the Age of Sail.

The range of Sons of the Waves is substantial enough to cover most of the 18th and early 19th century, so we encounter Jack Tars amid three wars — or two and a half, depending on closely a reader differentiates the War of 1812 from its mother conflict, the Napoleonic wars. This same range also covers the time when British ships and their mates were complicit in the slave trade to when they became the agents of its eradication. The book begins with the Royal Navy’s rapid expansion in the 18th century as England entered more onto the global stage, covering the conditions of life aboard ship. Some viewed the Navy as worse than prison, for it offered all the limits of prison but with the added risks of sinking and natural catastrophe. Many sailors were forcefully conscripted, or ‘impressed’, by roving gangs who collected men off the street and forced them into service, and they were subject to what one 24th century observer referred to as ‘bad food, brutal discipline, and no women’. Wartime meant the Navy’s needs were especially desperate, and as much as half of the sailing force was conscripted labor — on one boat, Taylor observed, the overwhelming majority of the crew had been impressed, which makes one wondered why they didn’t simply take over the boat. Marines, presumably, but there’s also the matter of men bonding with each other, their ships, and their missions: one ship that had been on the verge of mutiny nevertheless threw itself bodily into Trafalgar. Although Taylor isn’t offering a military history here, Trafalgar was so significant that it receives its own section.

Life at sea, despite its deprivations and the whip, also offered young men adventure and freedom from social mores, especially in far-flung locales like Tahiti. Pleasures to be found there were mixed with the gall of not being paid, the latter especially rough on men who had been taken by press gangs and left their wives and families in the lurch. Until reforms were made, these women were left to support themselves, which tended to get them in trouble given that the easiest options were theft and prostitution. One poor man had completed his voyage and was within a day or two of receiving payment when — thinking the press gangs had met their quota — ventured onto open streets and found himself aboard again. The appallingly low wages and the extreme delays in receiving them fueled discontent that made itsself visible in mutinies. I was inordinately pleased to encounter MY NAME IS CAPTAIN SIR EDWARD PELLEW here, and astonished to learn that he’d risen from the ranks and remained close to them long after he’d been made an officer, working in the masts along with his men. I also enjoyed the occasional American interludes, and was amused to learn that the number of British sailors who deserted to pursue opportunities in America was roughly about the same as the most conservative reckonings of how many Americans were seized on the high seas and inducted into the Royal Navy, a practice that led to war against the States and the mother country yet again.

Sons of the Waves was terrific reading: I’ll definitely take on the Pellew biography now, and I especially appreciate that one of Taylor’s chapters consisted of him analyzing his one of his key sources, extant soldiers memoirs that include some anachronisms given that they were being written decades after the wars at times.

Related:
C.S. Forester’s Horatio Hornblower series, set in the Napoleonic wars
To Rule the Waves, Arthur Herman. On how the Royal Navy shaped the modern world.

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If Books Threw a Party

Classics: Oh, it’s Young Adult! Let me guess: a mystery that needs to be solved, a dragon, secret powers, a mIsUnDeStOoD prota-
Young Adult: Oh, Classics, let me guess. An old country house, set in England, maybe, unrequited love, someone goes off to war and comes back married to someone else?
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The Club

I have an interest in men’s clubs dating back to reading Around the World in 80 Days and The Time Traveler as a kid, and I have no idea why. Boys like clubs and clubhouses as a rule, I think, and the grown-up setting with serious talk and consumption of exotica like ‘mutton’ and ‘brandy’ fascinated me — and this has persisted through the years, with my loving books like the Black Widower series and anything on the Inklings. The Club was therefore of immediate interest to me, especially because of some of its personalities – Johnson, Burke, and Adam Smith. These were men whose professional interests and gifts cut across British society: playwrights, painters, literary experts, politicians, lawyers, and (in the case of Smith) creators of entire fields of study. Leo Damrosch opens with biographies-in-brief of the core members of his study before The Club was conceived and organized, which is interesting in its own right even before these strong personalities gather together and begin discussing politics and literature. Many of the figures were unknowns to me, aside from “I’ve seen that fellow’s name before, I probably should have an inkling of who he is”: these included Boswell himself (whom I know only as the biographer of Johnson), Garrick, a fantastically talented actor and director; and Sheridan. It’s safe to say that Johnson dominates The Club: regardless of the subject matter, Damrosch opens Johnson’s Dictionary to see how his definitions of a subject reflected his views therein. The members of the Club were not uniform in their tastes or political persuasions, which made for an interesting chapter on the Club in the dawn of English empire, and because of the range of their professions, readers are treated to an enormous variety of subjects. We learn about the 18th century theater, Scottish romanticism, the birth of economics, etc. There’s a great deal of historical detail encountered here that I was otherwise unaware of, like the fact that whisky had not yet made it into England, or the fact that Shakespeare editions were so adulterated and edited that even veteran actors didn’t recognize large parts of the originals when they encountered them. This is a girthy but interesting dive into the mid-late 18th century, and has some good-quality prints throughout as well as a fetching cover.

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Aged Veterans of the virtual TBR

Today’s prompt from Long and Short Reviews is “Books that have been on our TBR the Longest”. I dealt with my physical TBR last year, so I’m going to take a look at my Kindle library, sort by “Oldest”, and take a look at Kindle titles I bought (probably for a $1 or $2) and then forgot about because eBooks are easy to forget about.

(1) Joan of Arc, Hillaire Belloc. There’s a Joan book I own but haven’t read?! Like, zoinks, Scoob!

(2) ISIS: Inside the Army of Terror, Michael Weiss & Hassan Hasan

(3) Hacking ISIS: How to Destroy the Cyber Jihad, Malcolm Nance

(4) AI Superpowers: China, Silicon Valley, and the New World Order, Kai-Fu Lee

(5) Thomas Jefferson, Revolutionary, Kevin Gutzman. I can only assume I bought this and decided to wait for my usual USA! USA! USA! reading in late-June early-July, but then forgot about it.

(6) Trouble is my Business, Raymond Chandler

(7) The Maharajah’s General and The Devil’s Assassin, Paul Fraser Collard. Not sure why I lapsed reading this series.

(8) Star Trek: My Enemy, My Ally, Diane Duane. First of her Romulan series.

(9) Conservatism: An Invitation to the Great Tradition, Sir Roger Scruton.

(10) The Good Shepard, C.S. Forester. Presumably purchased for one year’s Read of England.

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