Paul Blart: Mall Cop, 2009. This is an….action-comedy somewhere on the level of Home Alone 3. It’s fairly moronic, with lots of “Kevin James is fat” esque physical comedy. The plot concerns a security guard at a mall (remember those?) foiling a bizarre plan by a gang that involves ….credit card fraud? Despite the fact that there’s only one kid in this, it felt like a kid’s movie because of the ludicrous plot and execution, not to mention the amount of skateboarding, biking, etc performed by the extremely large gang.
The King. The Mua’Dib plays Prince Hal, who his ailing father summons to court to inform that he is too much of a reprobate to inherit the throne of England: this is quickly superseded by reality when both the designated heir young Thomas, and the king, die from causes natural and non-. (Don’t feel sorry for young Thos, he was quite a brat.) Joel Edgerton appears as Falstaff, Hal’s man at arms, and Robert Pattinson appears as the French prince. Supposedly very loosely based on Shakespeare’s Henry plays, but that’s a bit like saying Apple’s Foundation was based on Asimov’s Foundation. Robert Pattinson as the French dauphin was a dreadful casting choice. Timothee gives a rousing speech that is not drawn from Shakespeare in the least. I loved the battle-scene visuals, especially the trebuchets at Harfleur, and the English army assembling at Agincourt.
Quotes:
Archbishop: Surely you don’t intend to idle here until they decide to come out.
Falstaff: …that is, precisely, the definition of a ‘siege’.Falstaff: I die here [at Agincourt] or I die over a bottle in Cheapside. This seems a better story.
Dauphin: Well, then, boy – let us make this field famous, this little field of Agincourt
LBJ, 2016. Woody Harrelson plays LBJ, and particularly his aspiration for presidential power in the context of the rise of the Kennedys, culminating in LBJ’s speech to Congress in which he effectively takes on Kennedy’s cause of civil rights as a memorial to the late president. The Brothers K are wonderfully snotty: Bobby is especially punchable. (I may have paused the movie so I could watch my favorite scene from Hoffa, in which Jimmy Hoffa gives RFK a verbal beatdown.) I couldn’t help but compare this to All the Way, the Brian Cranston movie in which Cranston plays LBJ pushing the Civil Rights bill through the Congress. Both of these movies demonstrate LBJ’s skills at political manipulation, but Harrelson’s portrayal is more ‘human’ in that it frequently shows an LBJ who is hurt, frustrated, etc – not just the pushy bully. In one scene, he handles the Kennedy cabinet’s resistance to him by retreating with ice cream and whisky. It’s an interesting study in character, in which a man who craves power is frustrated by the up-and-coming ‘new frontier’ generation, then gets another chance — but finds it poisoned by Kennedy’s death.
Undercover Blues, 1993. Dennis Quaid and Kathleen Turner are a married couple who are both James Bond types working for an undisclosed government agency, but they’re on maternity leave. Problem is, the world keeps turning and baddies keep plotting, so they wind up having to work with baby in hand. This is a comedy/action movie in which Stanley Tucci plays the comic relief, as a bungling back-alley robber who keeps stalking Quaid to get his revenge but gets humiliated every time. Watched with friends, and we immediately followed it with….
Zorro: The Gay Blade, 1981. Ehm…a Mexican don’s father dies, and the don learns that his father was the famed Zorro of legend. Donning the costume for a party, he is inspired to fight for truth and jootice for the peoples while speaking in an outrageous accent. After humiliating the local equivalent of Lord Farquad, the don injures himself while trying to escape and asks his brother, a ‘poof’, to assume the mantle while he heals. The brother is very flamboyant, shall we say, with a taste for loud costumes and a marked preference for the whip. This is another action comedy that adds a lot of absurd humor with the characters’ voices, accents, and grammar. (The don sounds like he’s trying to imitate Desi Arnez in I Love Lucy.) I spent the entire film not noticing that the same actor was playing both brothers, in part because their makeup and intonation was very different.
Thirteen Days, 2001. The Commies are putting missiles capable of nuking much of the southern United States in Cuba, and Kennedy and his boys have to find a way making the Reds see sense. Bruce Greenwood, whom I only know as Captain Pike (Star Trek 2009), here plays JFK, though his Bahston accident frequently disappears. Kevin Cosner’s is much more consistent, though I learned that he and Tom Hanks (who did a Boston brogue in Catch Me If You Can) sound weirdly alike when they’re doing that accent. I’m generally familiar with the way the Cuban missile crisis worked out, but I enjoyed the acting. Oddly, not Cosner’s only JFK-related film.
JFK, 1991. “Is that Jack Lemmon?!” “Gary Oldman?” “Joe Pesci?” “Walter Mathau?!” “Tommy Lee Jones in a hairpiece?!” “JOHN CANDY?” This is a long conspiracy-theory film about the JFK assassination, produced by Oliver Stone. I went into it knowing it played as fast and loose with the facts as most politicians, so I didn’t take any of its claims seriously. Technically, this is a very impressive film, especially the recreations of 1963 and 1966 Dallas and New Orleans – and there’s no shortage of acting talent. The movie is not simply a conspiracy theory in action, though: it delves into some serious territory, like the investigator’s effective alienation of his family as he sinks deeper and deeper into his obsession for The Truth. Unfun fact: while I was watching this, I started getting notifications about shots being fired at Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
Parkland, 2013. Do I need to watch another JFK fil- PAUL GIAMATTI! PLAY PLAY PLAY! Parkland is a drama based on the Kennedy assassination that centers on Abraham Zapruder, who was taping Kennedy’s visit to Dallas when he unwittingly documented history, and the hospital staff who tried to save JFK’s life despite the baseball-sized hole in his skull. Parkland Hospital also treats Lee Harvey Oswald after he’s shot by Jack Ruby. This was a much different approach to the story, one I rather liked.
Nixon, 1995. Oliver Stone again; Anthony Hopkins as Nixon with a great supporting cast, chiefly James Woods as Bob Haldeman, his chief of staff, and J.T. Walsh who portrays Ehrlichman. (Walsh was also in Hoffa to good effect.) The film is largely about Nixon’s longing for greatness and his frustration with the media and the DC establishment, which opposes and undermines him. It’s especially potent because he has a love-hate relationship: he’s a man who came from nothing, worked hard as hell to make it to the top, and wants to be taken seriously – but instead he’s treated with disdain. His anger and suspicion of the establishment (which he calls “the beast”) are especially triggered when the press bombards him with questions about some meaningless break-in while he’s expecting accolades for ending Vietnam, establishing a treaty with the Russians to start controlling the nuclear arms race, and establishing relations with the Chi-Coms. There’s a lot of really good camerawork here – circling characters to increase tension, or using skewed frames for the same. Some actors do phenomenal work, especially Sam Waterston as the CIA Ghoul in Chief.
I had planned to watch some du Maurier dramatizations, but…I wound up going ‘all the way’ with JFK and LBJ instead. Nixon now! (Nixon now, more than ever!)







