All the Best, George

. All the Best is a collection of Bush Sr’s letters, diary entries and emails, prefaced by him and read to varying degrees by his family — including “Bar” whose first particular entry is heartbreaking. As a 1990s kid, there was special joy for me in listening to George H.W’s grandfatherly voice, and learning about him as man. I must say I was…thoroughly surprised by how candid “Poppy” could be in his letters, at one point discussing teenage necking trends with his mother and signing off as Dr. George H.W. Bush, Sexologist. But…that was ’41, a man who even in his senior years surprised his family by jumping out of planes in his 90s. This collection of letters and diary entries takes us from his youthful days as a Navy pilot to his early days as an elder statesman; although the lackluster readings from his kids diminished it somewhat, I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Until recent years, I’ve regarded Bush Sr as something of a reedy aristocrat; while that’s true in some ways — good ways, with a concern for propriety and a sense of noblesse oblige — reading Bush Jr’s memoir of him and this has improved my regard for him. While born to privilege, he did not hesitate to serve in World War 2 and nearly died there; thereafter, he pursued college and then struck out on his own in Midland, Texas, where he and his young wife “Bar” endured dust storms and hardship while they waited for hard work and inspiration to resolve into material success. Bush Sr’s complaints about his son George W. are hysterical in retrospect: young W. had a tendency to try and say too much at one time and was a clumsy speaker. One of the most poignant parts of the early memoir-in-letters is learning of the death of his young daughter, Robin, to leukemia: the presentation makes this all the more weepy by having Barbara Bush read the letter in which George HW writes about their struggle to save Robin, in taking her to specialists only to see her wither away. It is one thing to hear one parent talking about seeing a young, innocent child die before their eyes: but to hear Barbara read her husband’s letter, to have both parents involved, was a masterstroke in immersion, even if it came via sympathetic sorrow. “Bar” appears in a few more letters, all emotionally charged.

As the book progresses, there is a shift from personal to professional interest; that is, the more Bush rises in public prominence, the more we’re reading about China, managing the RNC through the Watergate crisis, and conducting the Gulf War. A series of letters takes us through Bush’s annoyance that the president was being slandered, to deeper dismay that Nixon was involved, and finally total disappointment (once the tapes were aired) to find that his chief was ‘completely amoral’. As the chair of the RNC, he felt he had no choice but to encourage Nixon to resign. (Nixon would remain one of Bush’s pen pals, though: there are at least a half-dozen missives in here written to RN wishing him well or thanking him for policy input.) While modern versions of this book have been updated and expanded, my version ended in the 1990s without any reactions to 9/11 or his son’s presidency. The image of HW that emerges here is that of a deeply serious citizen, who despite being part of the stoic ‘greatest generation’ is remarkably tender-hearted where servicemen and children are concerned — and a man with a wonderful sense of humor, sometimes bawdy. His letters were part of his humor, as he’d sometimes send out joke memos as president, or stern instructions not to feed Ranger, the family dog who was beginning to resemble a miniature cow. The letters are often funny in what they contain, like his 1999 admission that he used his impaired hearing to tune out of small-talk conversations, looking confused if asking a question or just outright ignoring what was said or asked. I know many men who are accused of selective hearing, so I couldn’t help but laugh — and ditto for his note thanking a friend for a gag gift of a desktop bow and arrow, which he’d been using to attack family members’ keesters all morning.

This was quite an experience; part of the attraction for me was some subtle nostalgia, of course, encountering again the first president I ever remember, who in some part of my brain retains the title in perpetuity the way John Paul II remains ‘the pope’. More than that, though, I enjoyed learning about him — not as a president, but as a man. George W’s 41 started me on this path, but reading his own words, sometimes in his own voice, made the learning experience special. Learning about his sense of humor was probably the biggest thing I’ll remember about this book, but I also enjoyed the behind-the-curtains look into how history was experienced. From my perspective, Watergate and the fall of the Soviet Union are simply historic events — but these letters make them real, especially Bush’s stress as he negotiated with a Soviet Union which was beginning to fall apart, but still militarily potent and potentially paranoid. Another important aspect was Bush’s perspective; I liked him struggling with memory as he attended the Japanese emperor’s funeral, or was allowed by Japanese hosts to fly over the same area he was shot down in as a young man — the young fighter pilot who hated the enemy now having aged into a gracious statesman who shook hands and accepted the hospitality of men he very well may have tried to kill decades before. I will say this is arguably a better book to read than to listen to: as much as I enjoyed listening to “Poppy” talk, a lot of the letters just lacked any gusto and this was especially salient when the text was emotionally charged.

Related:
41: A Portrait of my Father, George W. Bush
Decision Points, George W. Bush. (Also read by the author.)

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Lincoln

Gore Vidal’s Lincoln is a fictional rendering of President Lincoln across five years, from his rise to power to his sudden end at an assassin’s hands in 1865.  Unlike the modern film Lincoln, Vidal does not try to give us a saint. Instead  he instead labors to draw a picture of someone far more interesting, a human being in all his complexity. His Lincoln is weighed down with purpose, but still funny;  an idealist who still dips his hand in blood. He is a statesman, yes – but also a politician, whose fights with his own Cabinet are often more pressing than those with the Confederacy he will not name.   It was…quite the book, and I anticipate reading more of Vidal’s fiction.

I only know Vidal as an essayist, principally against American empire,  so I had no idea what to expect from this.  I was wholly pleased and across the board. While we follow a fairly conventional track – Lincoln kicking things off with his inauguration, trying to figure out the best course of action for dealing with the Confederacy,  and filling out his Cabinet – that aforementioned item is arguably more present in the narrative drama than the actual War of the Rebellion, to borrow the name Union papers used at the time.   Most of the men therein are ambitious, and they meant to be president themselves one day  unless they can somehow displace Lincoln’s authority in the present. They think he’s terribly weak, without a vision or will. They are men of vision, by god! One of them has the idea to start a war with Europe to inspire the Southrons to the defense of their countrymen  –  or perhaps the total conquest of Mexico would do?   Lincoln manages them ably,  does his best to lead through the war despite a surplus of Union officers who cannot or will not fight,  and eventually brings up Grant just as the South’s starting advantage of zeal for their homeland and a supply of excellent officers – is being overtaken by the north’s industrial might and inability to run out of men.   There are no time markers in the book aside from events mentioned, so if you’re going into this not knowing a rough timeline of the war, you may be surprised to find yourself at Appomattox Courthouse not knowing the time of day.  (Readers so un-read in the war, however, are probably not interested in a massive Lincoln novel to begin with.)  Another thread follows a young Confederate sympathizer who works as a pharmacist;    he anxiously wants to bring down the man who the narrators variously call The Tycoon or The Ancient, but  he can never find the right opportunity when the time is ripe. When the assassination does happen, it’s from left field.

This was quite the read! Vidal offers a rich feeling of being in the 1860s,  especially for the Union government holed up in a very Southern city, a city surrounded by the South (Maryland to the North, Virginia to the south):  there is a strong sense of paranoia there made worse by the city’s easy exposure. There are no walls, only a few bridges dividing DC from ‘Enemy Country’. The star of the book, though, is how deftly Vidal handles Lincoln’s complexity of character – his humor and iron both.  Vidal is plainly present to deliver critiques of his heavy-handiness,  but it’s done in a way that the reader can appreciate both the harshness and the despairing motivation.  Similarly subtly developed is Lincoln’s changing stance on slavery,  as he continues maintaining he has no interest in destroying slavery but only stopping its expansion…to the adoption of emancipation as a war measure.
I will be reading more of Vidal, I think! His Washington, DC would be interesting to pair with Democracy by Henry Adams given that they’re both about the soup and nuts of politicking in DC but at different eras of the Republic’s life.

Quotations

“Well, [the president] must have been pleased about Chattanooga?” said Harris. He looked at Emilie, challengingly. “The rebels ran from us like so many rabbits.”
Emilie responded in swift kind. “If that is true, Senator Harris, it must have been the example you set them at Bull Run and Manassas and Chancellorsville and Fredericksburg…”

Lincoln took the lengthy message from Nicolay. “By he way, did not have the smallpox but varioloid, which is the same thing but doesn’t sound quite as bad. Anyway, it was nice, for a change, having something I could give everybody.”

“Mr. Lincoln” — Buchanan’s voice dropped to a whisper — “The office of President of the United States is not fit for a gentleman to hold.”
“Well, that’s lucky for me, I guess,” Lincoln tried to make a joke, but the old man is serious.
“You will see what I mean, sir.”

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WWW Wednesday, America @ 250 Edition

Today’s Long and Short reviews prompt is: animals we’d like as pets. Ideally I’d one day like to have a more rural home (as in, no neighbors but deer) with chickens and even a horse.

WHAT have you finished reading recently? Gore Vidal’s Lincoln novel, which I quite liked.

WHAT are you reading now? All the Best, George, a collection of George HW Bush’s letters and diary entries — introduce by ‘Poppy’ himself and read by his family, including Barbara.

WHAT are you reading next? The Declaration of Independence: A Radical Experiment in Liberty, Brad Birzer. Or maybe something else. I’m still bronc-riding a new medicine this week and haven’t done any reading since (gasp) Saturday.

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Top Ten Books From My Favorite Authors

Today’s treble-T is “Books By My Favorite Authors”, which is unfair but I shall do my best. But foist, Teaser Tuesday!

Today Jupiter radiates twice as much heat as it receives from the Sun. Early on it would have glowed much hotter, baking away the water from its innermost moon, Io. From Io’s perspective, Jupiter looms like a giant saucer in the sky, so it would have acted like a heat lamp. WHEN AMERICA HAD TWO MOONS

And now:

Top Ten Books from My Favorite Authors


(1) Jayber Crow, Wendell Berry. Although I love Brother Berry’s nonfiction, my first experience with him was Jayber.

(2) Tales of the Black Widowers, Isaac Asimov. Is — are? — Tales ‘foundational’ literature? No. The dear doctor is known for other titles, but I love his Black Widowers stories. I used to re-read them at meals regularly.

(3) Lords of the North, Bernard Cornwell. I have read a lot of Bernard Cornwell, a term which here means “at least 54 titles”. Lords of the North, though, number three in the Saxon Stories series, always springs readily to mind because it had a unique plot, and it’s the lowest Uhtred or any of Cornwell’s characters has ever been in a story. Back in 2010 when I first read this, I immediately followed my book-reading with the audiobook.

(4) Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis. This one was a hard one, because I love so much Jack has written — but Surprised has the signal virtue of being the Lewis work I’ve re-read the most times. I re-read it less for what it chronicles, but for his presence.

[My father] relied wholly on his tongue as an instrument of domestic discipline. And here that fatal bent toward dramatization and rhetoric produced a pathetic yet comic result. When he opened his mouth to reprove us he no doubt intended a short well-chosen appeal to our common sense and conscience. But alas, he had been a public speaker long before he became a father. Words came to him and intoxicated him as they came. What actually happened was that a small boy who had walked on damp grass in his slippers or left the bathroom in a pickle found himself attacked with something like Cicero on Cataline, or Burke on Warren Hastings; simile piled on simile, rhetorical question on rhetorical question, the flash of an orator’s eye and the thundercloud of an orator’s brow, the gestures, the cadences, the pauses. […] While he spoke, he forgot not only the offense, but the capacities of his audience. All the resources of his immense vocabulary were poured forth. I can still remember such words as ‘abominable”, “sophisticated”, and “surreptitious”. You will not get the full flavor unless you know an angry Irishman’s energy in explosive consonants and the rich growl of his r’s.”

(5) Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child, Anthony Esolen.

If you take a peek at my Classics Club list, you’ll see four works translated from the Latin by Esolen. He has been a favorite for liberal arts / humanities reading for many years now, though I cannot remember when I stumbled on him. He’s one of two authors (the other being Bill Kauffman) who could write an article without a byline and I’d recognize his ‘voice’, so to speak.

(6) How Dante Can Save Your Life, Rod Dreher. I was tempted to mention Crunchy Cons here since it’s the work that introduced me to Dreher, but his Dante book came around for me at just the right time — and I had the good fortune to thank him personally for it back in 2022. He is currently working on a book about American Weimar.

(7) Tolkien’s Sanctifying Myth, Brad Birzer. Man alive, I love reading and listening to Brad Birzer. I found him via Liberty Classroom, where he has lectures on American history, as well as the intersection of politics and science fiction. He has such a wonderful voice for speaking that, like Esolen, I look for his lectures on youtube.

(8) The Demon Haunted World, Carl Sagan. Speaking of voices, I can’t miss Carl. I owe this book — on the importance of skepticism in the information age — a re-read.

(9) Look Homeward, America!, Bill Kauffman. I gotta go with my first book by Bill (he told me to call him Bill, we exchange Christmas cards). Just going to quote my review:

 Look Homeward, America collects the stories of eccentric individuals who, in a century marked by the advance of corporate and state power, rebelled against the machine. Planting their flag above small towns and in the countryside, they held on what they regarded as valuable and defied or attempted to resist the march of a more inhumane world. Bill Kauffman is a sympathetic soul, a die-hard “placeist”. He calls himself the anarchist love-child of Henry David Thoreau and Dorothy Day, and Look Homeward is his tribute to peaceable troublemakers like his ‘parents’. They are farmers and social workers, politicians and miners, men and women whose faith is the family and the local community. They champion self-reliance, local interest, and peace; they scorn war, industrial agriculture, big business, and government bureaucracy.

Fun fact: the artwork that is the frontispiece of Look Homeward is called “Spring in Town” by Grant Wood. A print now hangs in my bedroom, along with several Jack Vettriano pieces and posters of Frank Sinatra and Audrey Hepburn.

(10) The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton. When I first found Stoicism, I searched on Youtube for resources. This was in 2008 or so, long before Stoicism had a strange revival, so I was surprised to find anything. I found a TV show based on this book, and an episode “Seneca on Anger”, that lulled me into watching the series, buying the book, then reading all I could of de Botton.

Blog news: I’m working on a review for Lincoln as well as Maverick, but I gave my brain the weekend off and just watched movies. Currently reading Kennedy & Nixon (there is no escaping 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue this year) and When the Earth Had Two Moons.

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Hated by All the Right People

What’s happened to Tucker?”, Rod Dreher may have asked himself in not so many words. Since Carlson aired an interview with a young troll whose name I’ll not give further mention, and failed to press the boy on his antisemitic and generally racist reviews, Dreher and Carlson have had a falling out.  Dreher cannot understand what he reads as antisemitism from Carlson’s camp:  personally, I don’t equate criticism of Israel with antisemitism, but platforming the troll without asking him any hard questions was damned strange, if not outright vile. When Senator Ted Cruz was on, evincing his total support for Israel and antagonism towards Iran, Tucker mercilessly grilled him: that was, in fact, the reason I listened to my first TC show.  I’m not much for TV personalities, but seeing a neocon get put on the spot was a dish too tempting not to try.  “What’s Happened to Tucker?” is also the subject of Hated By all the Right People, which tracks  Carlson’s journalistic career from being a ‘young tyro’ at The New Republic through his TV heights,   broadcasting every night into a president’s ears – and beyond. 

 Hated is also already slightly dated, given that the general “Tucker sold his soul to the Devil to be near Trump” premise is now completely moot. Because of Carlson’s refusal to roll over on the Epstein files or aggressive support for Israel and its Highlander approach towards Iran,  Tucker has been denounced by the Donald as a loser with a “low IQ”.  Of course, the Donald being who he is,  they may be holding hands and skipping through the tulips before  his second term is up.   Hated by all the Right People is an interesting book, a history of a man who saw changes in journalism coming and made leaps of courage accordingly, struggling at first but then making a success of himself after an unexpected breeze blew in from south Florida.  The author has an obvious distaste for his subject, which is never promising, and this manifests itself through a multitude of quotes that are framed to diminish him. One example: the author says Carlson evinced antisemitic views by claiming  that the Jewish Zelensky had attacked Christian churches.  Zelensky’s government  has in fact attacked Orthodox churches within Ukraine,  but for nationalist rather than religious reasons. 

I knew very little about Carlson before reading this:   he was not someone I paid attention to until he announced he was going to interview Vladimir Putin. That struck me as novel and potentially interesting, but I wouldn’t wind up listening to one of Carlson’s interviews in  full until the aforementioned Cruz roast.  I enjoyed learning about his life, even from someone who was sharply critical  of Carlson’s work.  I was interested in journalism in high school, so reading about Carlson’s beginnings as a newspaper and magazine reporter were especially interesting. Tucker thought that televised journalism had a lot of potential and transitioned early,  despite the advice of friends and peers. While he did struggle, eventually he began getting traction – but  Marshall McLuhan’s admonition that the medium is the message started doing its work, and soon  Carlson was engaged in projects where arguments and outrage were more salient than measured discussion. When Carlson launched his own online news project in The Daily Caller, he openly admitted that he was chasing clicks – and while he wanted to create a right-of-center equivalent to The Huffington Post,  his desire for that monster ‘engagement’ led to sloppier, more provocative headlines. Breitbart would run as a rival and eclipse the Caller in clickbait, leading to the Caller trying to outdo it.   

 It was when Tucker returned to the big screen, though, that he really took off.  He landed a show on Fox that rode the wave of the Trump upset, and Carlson rode it well in part because he was not one of the party faithful. He presented himself as someone wary of Trump himself, but outright antagonistic toward Trumps opponents. While it’s easy to read that as insincere,   speaking from personal experience  it sounds legitimate: I know a lot of Republicans and conservatives who don’t like Trump, will actively disparage him, but they so loathe who he speaks against – the ‘woke’, the DC elite, etc –   that they’ll rally around the flag, anyway. Tucker’s teasing evidently intrigued Trump, tickling his ego but denying him satisfaction just enough: the Donald began calling Tucker to chat about the show, and after Carlson recovered from the oddity of the President watching his show faithfully, he began using it to speak directly to the president: ultimately, however, Carlson’s deeply rooted convictions against foreign wars and resentment of Israel’s influence on foreign policy – combined with whatever leverage Netanyahu has over Trump –  have resulted in a falling out since Carlson spoke out against the Iran strikes of last year that “totally demolished” Iran’s nuclear program.  Ultimately, Tucker continues to ride high: he may have been banished from Fox News, but just as he jumped from magazines to TVs and then took advantage of new online-only papers, so now he is an independent media personality with a podcast that rivals and sometimes outstrips other leading podcasters like Joe Rogan.

This is definitely a mixed bag of a book: the author’s dislike for his subject leads to a lot of misrepresentation, but the man and the currents he’s been involved with are interesting subjects in themselves – especially if you’re a libertarian with strong foreign policy views yourself!   I thought the story was most interesting from the journalistic angle, since we’re watching the field evolve over the course of thirty years. I don’t think that evolution has been a good one, either: one reason Tucker was not on my radar until last year or so is that I don’t ‘watch’ news, either on TV or on my computer; I prefer reading it, in part because Neil Postman made me think critically about information and how its presentation affects how we are able to process it. We have all seen news degenerate from long thinkpieces to clickbait titles with little substance: it entertains without informing, and unfortunately Carlson has been part of that transformation.

Next up: I am closing in on the end of Lincoln, and am still working on my review of Maverick by Jason Riley. The problem with the latter is that it’s an intellectual biography of a man, so it’s not easy to precis.

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WWW Wednesday & Long and Short Prompt

This has nothing to do with books, but considering how many presidential books I’ve read recently it might as well have

Today’s prompt from Long and Short Reviews is, “A Typical Day in My Life”. I’m as-yet unmarried and as-yet still working, so my day to day is fairly predictable. I wake up at 7, make coffee, read substack and blogs, and then get ready for work. It’s at work where things get…..unpredictable. I work at an urban public library, and we get all kinds. I don’t mean a delightful mix of crotchety old bibliophiles and giddy kids, either, but a rogue’s gallery of eccentrics, cranks, and downright nuts — some dangerous. (I’m not kidding: one former ‘patron’ of ours is currently in jail for straight-up murdering a woman in a bookstore.) My day to day work varies: while I have consistent library-man things to do (monitor the computer lab, answer reference questions, conduct historical research, shelve books, fax, scan, etc), my department gets all kinds of requests. People might ask us to help them with something with their phone, for instance: one man so frequently created issues for himself on his phone that I’ve learned a lot about Android just having to search for answers. While some days it’s quiet and I can dig into old newspapers with the contentment of a nesting hamster, other days I’m asked so many questions I will eat lunch in my car just so I can steal some peace and quiet. After work, I generally go home, unless there’s some social event in town where I can pop in. Last week, for instance, I went to a historical preservation society meeting, and sometimes there are talks at the local bookstore. Since so many of my friends left town after the tornado, I don’t get to hang out with them in the evenings the way I used to. I sometimes have responsibilities like board meetings or choir practice, but generally I go home to read, listen to podcasts/lectures, and watch a movie. (Not all in the same evening, of course.)

WWW Wednesday

WHAT have you finished reading recently? Take Me To Your Leader, Neil deGrasse Tyson, as well as the full cast audio presentation of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

WHAT are you reading now? I started reading Lincoln by Gore Vidal; it’s part of a series of novels he did on ‘American Empire’. It’s a fatty with small text, so I may be chewing on it a while.

WHAT are you reading next? Most likely Brad Birzer’s new release: The Declaration of Independence: A Radical Experiment in Liberty.

Firefly-O-Versary

A Firefly + ST TOS wallpaper which is so perverse I have to love it

Facebook reminded me that 16 years ago today I posted, “Watching the first episode of Firefly”. Firefly has been one of my favorite stories since, so…why not share ten favorite quotes?

(1) “May have been the losin’ side. Still ain’t convinced it was the wrong one.” – Cap’n Mal

(2) “Somebody tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back!” – Cap’n Mal

(3) “No more runnin’. I aim to misbehave.” – Cap’n Mal

(4) “Well, look-at-this! Seems we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?”
“Big damn heroes, sir.”
“Ain’t we just?” – Cap’n Mal & Zoe

(5) “You know, they say mercy is the mark of a great man. (stab) Maybe I’m just a good one. (stab) Well, I’m all right.” – Cap’n Mal

(6) “This landing is going to be interesting.”
“Define ‘interesting’.”
“‘Oh God, Oh God, we’re all going to die'”? – Cap’n Mal & Wash

(7) “I cannot abide useless people.” – Warwick Hallow

(8) “What’d y’all order a dead guy for?” – Jayne

(9) “Ah, I love the pitter-patter of tiny feet in combat boots. SHUT UP!” – Cap’n Mal

(10) “Can’t stop the signal.” – Mr. Universe

See less

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Take Me To Your Leader

Aliens have been in the news of late, as Congress held hearings on ‘UAPs’ in ’23 and ’24, and the Biden and Trump admins both began moving to release some of the government’s ‘Unidentified Anomalous Phenomenon’ or UFO files. Just in time comes Neil deGrasse Tyson’s book on aliens, and he should know a thing or to since he hails from the same city the Men in Black are headquartered in. The book is casually written and thus a light read, but still saturated with a range of science — chemistry, physics, astrophysics, etc. It opens by Tyson sharing his fascination with aliens as a kid, and from there roams far and wide. Tyson uses both pop-culture depictions and science to analyze our conceptions of aliens, and how anthropocentric they are: he invites us to consider how truly weird and mind-blowing aliens might be. Imagine how strange life on Earth — with whom we share part of the same DNA, the ‘part’ varying on species — is. How much more incredible must be life on other worlds? After reviewing reasons we may not have encountered alien life yet (namely, distance and rarity of life), Tyson wraps up with some good ol’ fashioned UFO debunking. This includes testimony from recent Congressional hearings, too — he is not impressed. I enjoyed this well enough, but it’s a light, fast read, and didn’t run into anything I was unfamiliar with aside from his specific criticism of some of the ’23/’24 testimony.

And with that, I’ve finally broken ground on the Science Survey for this year.

Quotations

In fact, we know more about the surfaces of both the Moon and Mars than about our own ocean bottom. Want evidence of that? In 2005 the nuclear submarine USS San Francisco collided with an uncharted sea mountain.

If Aliens landed in Los Angeles, their first impression might be that Earth’s dominant life-form is the automobile. An obvious conclusion. When one gets injured, another version of that life-form shows up to haul it away and get repaired. Some of the larger life-forms on the freeway carry multiple automobiles within them. To the Aliens, these car haulers are surely pregnant.

In science, there’s no such thing as a credible claim or a credible witness, only credible evidence. (Remember Percival Lowell claiming that Mars had canals?

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Teaser Tuesday & CC Spin 44

Teaser Tuesday

“If Aliens landed in Los Angeles, their first impression might be that Earth’s dominant life-form is the automobile. An obvious conclusion. When one gets injured, another version of that life-form shows up to haul it away and get repaired. Some of the larger life-forms on the freeway carry multiple automobiles within them. To the Aliens, these car haulers are surely pregnant.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson, Take Me To Your Leader

Classics Club Spin 44:

On Sunday the Classics Club spun up #9, which for me is…

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Harry Potter and the VERY SCREAMY CAMPING TRIP

The Ministry has fallen.
Scrimgeour is dead.
They are coming.

One minute Harry and company are attending the wedding of Bill and Fleur, the next moment they’re running for their lives and living like vagabonds in the woods while trying to figure out how to take down the second coming of Lord Voldemort. Key to his ‘immortality’ are a series of objects called Horcruxes; these are objects in which part of his soul, split apart through murder, has been embedded. In Half-Blood Prince, we learned about Voldy’s attempt to thwart death by creating one — but in fact, he’s created multiples, possibly as many as seven. Two have been destroyed already — one by Harry, unwittingly in Chamber of Secrets, and one by Dumbledore in the summer between Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince. But five remain, and if Voldemort is to be defeated and the English Wizarding world redeemed, Harry will need to track them down and destroy them. Where are they? Good question. How can they be destroyed? Even better. But that is the task lying before Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Deathly Hallows is the conclusion to the Harry Potter series, and in its audio form is a fantastic, emotional experience.

I sometimes fall asleep listening to an audiobook. This was proved to be a mistake in the case of Deathly Hallows, because I’d forgotten how much of this book is PEOPLE SCREAMING. In the first third of the book, we have three teenagers who have fled to the woods because they’re on the new government’s enemies list for various reasons. They’re frequently tired, hungry, scared, and desperate. They have a mission but no effective idea of how to realize it. Combine all this anxiety with normal teenager drama and you wind up with three people screaming at each other a lot — Harry, because he’s being bothered by his Voldemort scar again and is feeling the urgency of issue more; Ron, because he’s super-stressed about his family and emotionally charged about Hermione; and Hermione, who is upset by the boys’ constant angsting. Later on, as the trio get information that gives them leads, they cross paths with antagonists like the foul werewolf Fenrir Grayback and the delightfully insane Bellatrix LeStrange — and I must say, Saffron Coomber does excellent blood-curdling screams as Hermione. Reading that character is being tortured is one thing; hearing the screams and having your own guts clench in sympathy is quite another. The sound design in general continues to be top-tier, with an excellence balance of atmospheric sound, superb voice acting, and music used slightly when appropriate.

Deathly Hallows brims over with emotional intensity, given the stakes. Voldemort has captured the Ministry, everyone sympathetic is in hiding or actively being hurt, and death is common. The book opens with Hedwig and Mad-Eye Moody dying in an attempt to remove Harry to a new shelter after the magic that protected him at his aunt and uncle’s place expires, and before the book ends there will be more deaths. Death marks the book in other ways, too: Dumbledore’s will gave Hermione a book of children’s stories, for some reason, but one story has a symbol in it that Hermione recognizes. The story is a mythical account of three magical artifacts, one of which Harry is staggered to realize he possesses — the Cloak of Invisibility — and the other of which he really wants, the Elder Wand. This is a wand supposedly crafted by Death and gives its rightful wielder enormous advantage — though it also attracts trouble, as the owner of the Wand attracts those who also want the Wand and are willing to kill to get it. The streams of both Horcruxes and Hallows cross at the Battle of Hogwarts, in which Voldy and Harry go mano a mano — but with a twist.

I’ve lived with this story for nearly twenty years now, having read all the HP books through in the summer of 2007: you’d think knowing the ending would deaden the impact, but the sheer grace with which Rowling continues elaborating on themes from the first book — specifically, sacrificial love — combined with the excellent sound design, made Deathly Hallows a riveting experience. I was deliberately trying to hold myself back from devouring this one, since I know it’s the end, and yet at the same time I was listening to it well after midnight and regretting it in the morning. I’d already started re-listening to the FCA productions while waiting on DH to be released last week, and I will go so far as to say that I think the full cast audio books are the ideal, the definitive, way to experience the Harry Potter books. They’re that good.

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Hope Rides Again

“Picture this: Joe Biden—amateur detective. Racing around the
city in a Trans Am with his pal Barack Obama, trying to solve a crime that the
police have given up on.”

A few years ago I read a silly story about Joe Biden and Barack Obama trying to solve the mystery of an AMTRAK conductor being murdered while their Secret Service handlers and wives went “REALLY?”. This is its sequel. President Obama has lost his Blackberry, and we are at DEFCON 2.

That should be warranted. Why is President Obama using a BlackBerry in 2019? Dude, we have iPhones and Pixels! And even Samsung Galaxies, but give the Note7 a miss. No one comments on the oddity of using BlackBerries, but things get interesting when Obama and Biden do a location request on the BlackBerry and it shows up in the freight yards: Obama wipes the phone remotely, but Biden is intrigued. There’s something rotten in the state of Chi-Town! Scranton Joe strikes out in search of answers, but finds only more questions. (And thank goodness, because that’s generally how mystery novels work.) A young hotshot intern who also worked at the freight line has been shot, and is expected to die. Did he steal the President’s phone? Why?

Unlike the first book, Biden and Obama are not dogged by police who wish these two retired politicians (well, semi-retired — Biden is thinking about the 2020 election) would butt out, but they’re running around the South Side of Chicago — which, judging by the song “The Night Chicago Died”, is not a side to hang around in. The book leans heavily into mythic perceptions of both men, partially for a joke: even when Obama is tied up in a speakeasy and finds out that one of his captors didn’t vote, he has to give a lecture on the importance of serious voting. Biden, meanwhile, is obsessed with his everyman image and the ‘old man’ who doesn’t recognize any culture reference past the 1960s while Obama is so cool he’s tired of being cool. It’s a strange combination of Chicago crime and Presidential satire/humor.

I didn’t like this as much as the first book, possibly because the first title had the advantage of novelty: it also had the advantage of a more interesting supporting cast. Still, it was fine for a few hours of laughs and eye-rolls.

Related:
If Presidential humor is your thing, check out FinnFTW on youtube. He uses AI and character-accurate scripts (and….vulgarity) and has presidents playing video games together. It’s hilarious.

Don’t worry about me,” I told him. “This isn’t my first rodeo.” It wasn’t until I shut the door that I remembered I’d never been to a rodeo.

[Obama] closed his eyes and massaged his temples. “I was supposed to give up my phone for Lent. I was good for a couple of weeks, but then I started sneaking it out to check basketball scores. And then read the paper. And pretty soon I’d fallen off the wagon completely.” He looked over at me.
“Maybe this is God’s way of helping me get back on the wagon.”
“Lent? Trying to reconnect with your Irish ancestors?”
“More like trying to reconnect with my family. Michelle wanted me to try going a month without it. Said she ‘wanted her husband back.’”

One of my nicknames may have been Amtrak Joe, but I’d spent more time behind the wheel than Mario Andretti. “Car Joe” didn’t quite have the same ring to it, however.

Barack rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. I didn’t actually see him do it —the glasses were reflective for a reason—but I knew him well enough to know which way his eyes rolled.

Neither of us had a pool of speechwriters to help us prepare our remarks—that era was long gone. Our old speechwriters were all podcasting now. One of these days, I was going to have to ask someone what in blue blazes a “podcast” was.

“Joe,” Barack said, “if I hear one more story about your weird 1930s all-boys prep school, I’m going to lose it. We’re going to have quiet time. Whoever can stay silent the longest gets two scoops of chocolate-chip ice cream.”
“And a waffle cone?”
“And a waffle cone,” he said. “We start now.”
“If you think I can’t shut up for five minutes, then—”
“You’re still talking.”

Hip-hop wasn’t my bowl of chili, so I couldn’t tell you the artist’s name. I still remember the first hip-hop song I’d ever heard. Tipper Gore had played it for me on a Walkman. She was shaking her head the whole time, and then afterward asked if I wasn’t moved to do something about it. I’m moved to turn it off, I joked.

“If we go sniffing around, asking questions like what you’re asking, we could wind up in Chicago overcoats. Six feet under.”
Barack shot me a perturbed look. “Chicago overcoats? The last person to actually say that out loud was John Dillinger. Just say coffins, Joe. Coffins.”

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