Although I’ve frequently re-read some Harry Potter books over the years, I’ve tended to avoid Phoenix after my second read.I found it depressing and irritating my first rounds, and had no desire to ever revisit it. The full cast audio edition, coupled with the fact that I am nearly twenty years older now, went a long way toward making the story come alive again, though they also drove home the reason I dislike Phoenix. Specifically, Dolores Umbridge, who is so excruciatingly hateable that she inspires violent desires that may involve her face and repeated Bludger assaults. For the uninitiated, The Order of the Phoenix is the first novel of Voldemort’s “comeback”: he was revived at the end of Goblet of Fire, casually murdering one of Harry’s classmates in the process, and now he and his followers are gaining power and disappearing people. The Ministry of Magic, rather than sounding the hue and cry, is turning a blind eye and repressing those who try to sound the alarm. That includes at Hogwarts, as Minister for Magic Cornelius Starmer has inflicted a vile woman — Dolores Umbridge — as the new Defense against the Dark Arts “teacher”. Her idea of teaching is just having the students read from some insipid book about theory, however: she spends most of her time building cases for sacking Dumbledore’s allies at the school and being a hateful, smug, sicky-sweet bureaucratic bully who thoroughly deserves the Cruciatus curse being inflicted on her over and and over.
I have strong feelings in re: Umbridge. I think she works as well as she does because she’s the most believable villain in the entire series: readers can pretend to be worried about dragons or dark lords or dementors, but our odds of encountering such creatures outside of a schizophrenic episode are fairly minimal. Running into a smug bureaucrat who enjoys abusing power and being legally barred from strangling them or tying them to a train track is completely plausible. She makes it worse by being so disingenuous and ‘sweet’: I have never met a character in literature I hate more.
Another aspect of the book that’s aged well for me is the ‘teenage angst’; I commented on it in my first read , but reading as an adult I can take Harry’s emotionalism more seriously. Reading it as a lad scarcely into my twenties, I found Harry’s emotionalism irritating — but reading it as a more thoughtful adult, who has drifted into positions of quasi–mentorship with teenage cousins and coworkers and such, I took his trauma more seriously. In the span of two months, Harry went from seeing a classmate murdered before his eyes, to being ignored by his mentor, talked down to by others who wanted to protect him, and then relentlessly bullied by a new teacher. This teacher’s bullying was not the petty and spiteful bullying of Snape’s, either, but purposeful and cruel torture by a woman who wanted to destroy Harry’s life. She even bans him from playing Quidditch and tries to destroy the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Worse, there is no remedy: she’s been granted authority from Herr Fudge himself, and even Hogwarts’ teachers are suppressed by her. Meanwhile, Harry is increasingly isolated: Dumbledore is inexplicably ignoring him, and Harry is subject to frequent visions from Voldemort that he tries in vain to shield himself against, and continues to be hectored by friends and mentors alike for not shielding himself better. Ultimately, Harry will rebel with some of the other students and take action rather than wait for the adults to do so, and….well, things escalate.
So, this being a full-cast audio edition I should comment on the audio. The new voices are excellent as always, and I’m even getting used to the FCA’s voice artist for Snape. Umbridge, performed by Kiera Knightly, is perfect at being sicky-sweet, and the atmospherics are as usual top-shelf stuff. I only found them irritating in one scene, in which Harry and Hermione have gone to see Hagrid in his hut: while they’re having an intense conversation about important stuff, Fang keeps barking in the background and it’s just as irritating as it might’ve been in real life. The sound balancing was especially well done during the big Quidditch match, with kids singing and shouting providing immersion but not disrupting the narration. The Battle within the Department of Mysteries was another strong moment, with the sounds of spells being shouted, the shouts themselves, and Bellatrix LeStrange’s mad cackling mixed expertly. Given the emotional heaviness of this book — Harry’s trauma, the Weasley children learning their father has been critically injured, the stakes of the battle in the Department of Mysteries — the voice acting performs a lot of work. Some of the new casting is perfect: I could recognize Bellatrix LesStrange and Luna Lovegood without their characters even being introduced.
This was another stellar entry in the series, though it’s strange; as much as I enjoy the execution of the story, I still don’t like the story itself — Umbridge just brings out far too much rage in me. There were a lot of elements about the story I’d simply forgotten and enjoyed re-experiencing, like Harry getting a dressing-down from a headmaster portrait for being too self-consumed and not admitting that Dumbledore could very well have his reasons for behaving the way he was. (Ron adding unexpected comic relief during the intense Battle of the Department of Mysteries by getting hit with a ‘drunk’ spell was also something I’d forgotten entirely.) The quality was such that I spent a few lunch breaks simply sitting and listening to it, rather than reading; typically, audiobooks are car and casual gaming fare for me.
“Well, obviously, she’s feeling very sad, because of Cedric dying. Then I expect she’s feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can’t work out who she likes best. Then she’ll be feeling guilty, thinking it’s an insult to Cedric’s memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she’ll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can’t work out what her feelings toward Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that’s all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she’s afraid she’s going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she’s been flying so badly.”
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.”
“Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have,” said Hermione nastily, picking up her quill again.









