6 Responses to What Pastors Wish Their Church Members Knew

  1. lydiaschoch says:

    I’m not a pastor, but I was a preacher’s kid growing up.

    Yes, it can be a very isolating life for both the pastor and his/her family. You’re always under the microscope and there are very few people to talk to when you’re going through hard times.

    • My parents’ denomination had special retreats just for pastors and family, but so many churches are independent, or only faintly connected to an organization, that I doubt such a thing is the norm. I mentioned to someone on goodreads that I think expectations probably vary widely on the church or organization’s culture: in the Episcopal church, for instance, priests are called by their first names and related to pretty much like any other parishioner.. In my childhood church, in contrast, the pastor was up on a pillar to be venerated, and I never knew one who was genuine “friends” with any of his congregants — there was always some distance that had to be kept.

  2. Eleanor and I are so lucky in the church we attend that our pastors really are good friends (they are a husband/wife team. He is our lead pastor, she does more community work, but has also started giving the sermon more which I love). I have had so many deep/philosophic/rage vent/book talks with him, I feel more like he is dad-ish or older older older brother-ish than friend-ish. Same with her, very motherly but also tells me exactly what I need to hear, not what I want to hear- but in the most loving way possible. We are very, very blessed because I know not every church is like this. I think denomination does make a difference in how people feel they can relate to their pastors and vice versa. I was baptized/grew up in a Lutheran church, confirmed Methodist because I got extremely upset at my church for a terrible Easter service where they pulled out pie charts about how we were not giving enough money for the new facility, so even our guests felt obligated to tithe, and now we attend a Covenant church – Lutheran-Light, as I like to call it.

    • Going for money at Easter is extremely tacky, yeah. More a time for celebration than solicitation! I’ve known a husband and wife pastoral team, too — prior to retirement, he was the rector and she the associate rector. Loved them both dearly, and still do even though they moved to Georgia on me!

      • The thought of them leaving absolutely terrifies me! I would not be where I am in my journey back to my faith if it weren’t for them. And they are such a perfect team. Luckily they are ‘planted’ and at this point in their callings that they can decide if they want to move or not, and they don’t want to go anywhere else – except I am sure back to Michigan where they are from if God has work for them to do there. I would be so lost without them!

      • That I can understand!

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