Today’s Top Ten Tuesday is favorite audio book narrators, which is a bit of problem because I haven’t listened to that many. Listening to a book takes a lot more time than reading it, so I tend to only listen (1) because the narrator is that good, because (2) I’m re-experiencing the story, or (3) because it offers something unique. Such as I have, though, give I thee:

(1) Wil Wheaton. Wheaton is, hands down, my favorite Audible narrator. I found him via a trial, when he did the audiobook of Redshirts — and boy, was that like eating meat for the first time and being exposed to bacon-wrapped grilled chicken. I’ve since listened to Wheaton on Audible several times.

(2) Roger Clark, Cold as Hell. Okay, full disclosure: I first heard Roger Clark as the voice actor for Arthur Morgan in Red Dead Redemption II, meaning I’ve listened to him for hundreds of hours already, and the fact that he was doing this character was the main reason I even tried it.

(3) Paul Scofield, narrator of one series of The Chronicles of Narnia books. Awesome.

(4) The fellow who did the American Harry Potter audiobooks. Jim Dale, I believe his name is.

(5) The fellow who did the British Harry Potter books. Stephen Fry, his name definitely is. He’s also done his own Mythos, which I’m….still…..listening to.

(6) John Cleese. I’m including him because he did the audio for The Screwtape Letters. Have I listened to it in full? No, but I know John Cleese and I can take it on faith they’re superb.

And er…that’s all I’ve got. Now for Tuesday Teases, this time from Will the Circle Be Unbroken? by Sean Dietrich.

At Halloween, my mother would only allow me to dress up as nonhorror characters. Thus, I was the only kid among my peers who went trick-or-treating as an angel or Moses or Oral Roberts, and one year—I’m not making this up—I went as Jesus. Being Jesus was my mother’s idea. She’d dressed me in her white bathrobe and then placed a Christmas wreath on my head to represent the crown of thorns. Before my mother sent me off, she kissed my forehead and almost started crying.
“Oh, look at you,” she said. “Mama’s little Redeemer.” When I visited Mister Wallace’s doorstep, he took one look at me and said,
“Well, well, if it isn’t the Ghost of Christmas Present.”
“No sir,” I pointed out.
“I’m Jesus.”
“Who?”
“The Fairest of Ten Thousand.”
“For Halloween?”
“Yessir.”
“Why haven’t you said ‘trick or treat’?”
“I’m not here for tricks, sir. I’m here to offer forgiveness.” And I held my pillow case outward. He tossed eighteen dollars into my sack and said, “
That’s all you get. I already gave last Sunday.”

Oh, and why not a bonus from John Steinbeck’s adaptation of Mallory’s Death of Arthur?

“If I should tell you that Guinevere will be unfaithful to you with your dearest and most trusted friend –“
“I would not believe you.”
“Of course not,” said Merlin sadly. “Every man who has ever lived holds tight to the belief that for him alone the laws of probability are canceled out by love. Even I, who know beyond doubt that my death will be caused by a silly girl, will not hesitate when that girl passes by. You will marry Guinevere. You do not want advice — only agreement.”