(Don’t worry, I only read two of these.) Captain Smith is preparing for his triumphant final voyage, captaining the Titanic in her first trip across the Atlantic. Unfortunately for him, those nasty Germans are going to muck things up. Smith is blissfully unaware that one of his passengers, Dr. Weiss, is an epidemiologist who has been studying a vicious new plague in Wu- um, China somewhere — that turns its victims into absolute monsters, cannibals who reek of decay. Dr. Weiss wants to find a cure, but he’s recently realize that Imperial Germany has this neat idea of starting a general war in Europe (because they’re the baddies, and surprise invasion is such what one does), and they want to weaponize this awful new virus (“Toxic”) to cripple the Russians and prevent any messy second fronts from breaking out. Dr. Weiss has a sample of the Toxic to test for antidotes, but he can’t do it in a Europe filled with German agents, so he’s hoping for a fresh start in America. Unfortunately for him — and most of the passenger of the Titanic — an Evil German Agent is following him, and — during the ship’s progress — will attack Dr. Weiss and turn the Titanic into the set of The Walking Dead: Lost at Sea.

Although the basic premise is the same as Titanic with Zombies, this is very much its own story, and much closer to “horror-like SF” than fantasy-horror. Unlike TwZ, this is not a replay of the movie, but dominated by mostly new characters — especially Dr. Weiss and his sidekick, a tomboy named Lou(ise) who wants to grow up to be a frog-studying scientist. Dr. Weiss, Captain Smith, and Thomas Andrews are the chief stars, spending most of the novel being action heroes while Bruce Ismay is a blithering idiot on the bridge, at one point destroying the phone so he can countermand Smith’s orders and get the Titanic to New York early. The Titanic crew are mostly vague background, so Officer Lightoller doesn’t get his chance to be rambo the way he did in Titanic with Zombies. Although the Germans are a caricature villain, this was a much stronger novel all around — with a more original execution of the premise, and better writing and characters in general — than TwZ. Personally, my favorite part was Captain Smith suddenly having a history that involved Afghanistan, leading to him having a sword dubbed Kabul that he uses to smite the zombie hordes — side by side of a German scientist with a sword-stick. Great fun, especially Lou who lights up most every scene she’s in. And yes, the Titanic still does the whole “side-swipe the iceberg and go down” thing, although again I’m compelled to wonder about what difference the zombie apocalypse made in the survivor numbers: here, the virus mutates and becomes far more virulent.

Related:
Titanic with Zombies
World War Z
Night of the Living Trekkies

Highlights:

“I’m going to study frogs. Once we save some money.”
“A scientist, eh?” Weiss said with approval. “They allow girls to be scientists in Iowa?” Lou’s eyes narrowed. “The best scientists in Iowa are women.”

“Duty comes before my safety or yours. You’re givin’ into fear,” Smith said firmly. “Don’t be afraid of the fire, Thomas. Otherwise you’ll miss the chance to be forged in it.”

“Run, Captain,” hollered Andrews. “Never!” growled Smith. Finally, the blade slipped free.